the female experience

There was a lot about India that surprised me.  Most of the preconceptions I came in with turned out to be excessive.  But really, what has been really special, particularly surprising and just kind of nice is the sense of camaraderie I have felt with my fellow women in this country.  Maybe it’s because I live in a lady’s hostel and have had the opportunity to interact with more women, but I get the feeling that it really is a cultural thing. 

From the very beginning, while taking the train in Mumbai, I felt….taken care of in a sense? Standing on the crowded platform a bit nervous to jump on a train that will only stop briefly, I was offered some respite by India already from the fact that there are women-only cars that I can use.  So I was standing there, and this lady right next to me started talking to me. 

“Where are you from? First time in India?” Yes. I nod.

“Be very careful when you enter the train, it can be dangerous!” And it was kind of scary, everyone really just clogs the doorway the moment a train arrives so as to get the available seats.  But it was also nice, none of it was in ill-will.  Being a woman in a woman-only car…..yeah I was a foreigner, yeah people stared at me, but I also felt like we were all aware of that which we had in common: the female experience. 

I feel so inarticulate and ineloquent, because the feeling is so much more beautiful than my abilities are letting me express right now.

In my hostel, I often meet my neighbors in the hall or stairs and we have conversations! Somehow! Part broken English, part broken Kannada (on my part), part just body movement and expression, but mostly just communicating through female compassion.  Our conversations don’t move much further (verbally) than “how was your day? “Was your day good?” “Did you eat yet?” “Namaskara” “What is your name?” but there’s some kind of deeper understanding.  We can look at each other after a broken conversation and just laugh in unison, and everyone knows we’re friends.  We’ll take care of each other.  We are women.  We are companions. 

It’s so simple.  And pure. 

Before coming to India, people kept on cautioning me about the dirtiness, dangerousness and general unkempt/uncivilized state of the country.  And yeah, there is truth in these statements.  But what has stood out to me is a cleanliness in spirit that I have never quite experienced to this degree in the states.